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02:25am 21/07/2008
  Your results:
You are Malcolm Reynolds (Captain)
Malcolm Reynolds (Captain)
Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic)
Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)
Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)
Derrial Book (Shepherd)
Inara Serra (Companion)
Jayne Cobb (Mercenary)
A Reaver (Cannibal)
Wash (Ship Pilot)
River (Stowaway)
Honest and a defender of the innocent.
You sometimes make mistakes in judgment
but you are generally good and
would protect your crew from harm.

Click here to take the "Which Serenity character are you?" quiz...

I met a girl on the train tonight. She had on a "No Tofu shirt." I talked to her to pass the time. Assuming she said no lies; Her name is Greta and she is twenty. She started being a vegetarian the same age I did, but wore leather because it was "Vintage" I didn't get a good feel for who she was. I was just curious about the shirt and when she said she was a veggie I was curous about for how long (So I can feel superior like a bad person) She also started at 5th grade. I've never met anyone else who started that young. I tried to get a feel for who she is but I didn't grasp why she was one other than she doesn't like meat. She wouldn't tell me her religion. I probably came off as weird but I told her not to worry about being rude to me. It was either talk to her on the train or read a gay newspaper.

In general I'm doing all right. Kinda depressed but nothing major. A new "His Majesty's Dragon" book is out, same for Kushiel book.

I've seen Brianna again. She was in the group but left 1/2way through highschool for a different one and then went to college away for a bit. She is going to Britain and reads some of the same books as me. Her boyfriend Corey was one of my proto-friends.

Desmond turned 21. It was rather lackluster. Either I'm becoming disenchanted with drinking or the past few times have kinda sucked. There were big plans for a two day house/bar crawl party for him and Steve (Two consecutive birthdays) but Steve has lain low since the fourth I haven't heard from him since so the party on the first day never happened. Geof had a small get together instead. There was a late start for the bar crawl. I ordered Bloody Marys. Limes at all places, olives at half and no celery at any of them. It ended before I threw up or moved beyond tipsy.

Nate is running a D&D game again. It is pretty fun and I like my character.

I exist

Hellboy 2 wasn't bad but was still a disappointment. The visuals and action were very good but the dialogue and plot needed major work.

Dark Knight was amazing when I was watching it, but as I look back I can't see how the joker got all his equipment and loyal minions. I enjoyed it a lot when I watched it.

Watchmen the movie will exist. The comic is pretty good but I cannot see how they will make it into a movie that is not absolutely horrible.

I caught Dr. Horrible. It was pretty funny. Doctorhorrible.net They took it down by now. I tried to spread word. I wonder if my Joss Whedon fan workfriend saw it.

I really dislike leaving people messages. Possibly because it makes me realize how inane some of my reasons for calling are.

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Been a while   
04:40pm 07/05/2008

I'm still working at the skokie library as a shelver.

I went to Las Vegas with my Dad and brother. I saw Sarah Silverman, broke even at poker and made money at roulette. I saw the Star Trek Hilton and Cirque de Soleil. It was a lot of fun.

My cat Onyx died. She was old. She used to be my cat(in my mind at least) but somewhere along the line became my moms.

I visited Renny in Champagne Urbana. I barely made the train(as in They radioed not to leave and escorted me onboard. Getting back was less eventful. I had a fun time down there. IT felt as if my life was a show entitled "Evanston" and I was catching a few episodes of the Spin-off show "Renny." They don't have good bookstores there. This was the first trip that I took and arranged all by myself.

I've been visiting my grandmother every Wednesday. I check to make sure that her cat has food and water.(we got her the vacation feeders, and my mom checks them on the weekend) I would have visited her before but I never had a reason and "just stopping by" was too awkward. It's nice to see her but her memory is almost all gone and sometimes it makes me very sad.

I got an Apartment with Desmond and his friend Josh. Finally out of the parents house. I've realized I don't really need anything other than a place to sleep and my computer. The books are nice but heavy and now I've got my super, employees only library card.

I want to go to Portland Oregon or New York. Maybe this Summer.

The Apartment has internet. I've been spending a bit to much of my time playing Warcraft Three Tower defense.

Iron man was pretty decent but not amazing.


11:47am 13/03/2007
  As always Emo

As a random stupid thing Macaroni and Cheese has altered my perception of reality. As a child there was sometimes macaroni and cheese which tasted strange and had a strange texture. School lunches sometimes, some microwave brands. A week or so ago I found out why. It was real macaroni and cheese. I've always thought the fake stuff was how it always tasted but nope. I made some with milk, cheese.... a recipie out of a Betty Crocker cookbook from the 60's. It tasted like the macaroni and cheese that has always tasted off.

Annoyed by brother. He didn't want to hangout with a mutual friend, he told me not to mention an event I had promised to tell hir when/if it happened, so I didn't tell this friend . He reconsidered and told this friend but did not tell me that this friend was back in the know so I've continued in my not telling hir/not letting hir know it's happening. So now it looks like I'm the person avoiding hir rather than him. And he doesn't want me to tell hir he told me not to tell hir, which would be the quickest fix from my end.

I met Matt Harbiges old RA at a college friends birthday party. The Conversation turned to Nicknames of Christina, I said "100% of the Christinas I know are called Pixie" A stupid thing that no one should have gotten but she did. Brief conversation about him followed. Just a strange thing. Small world.

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10:48am 29/08/2006
  I won't/can't take a semester off. If I do I'd need to reapply. Not counting the possibility of not making it in the whole thing would be lot of paperwork. I want to say I will try my best and turn it all around but I'd rather not be a liar as well as a failure if I do fail.

I've been reading a lot. I think I've made it halfway through my recent impulse purchases. Yesterday(that looks like I spelled it wrong, either it is the font, I'm going crazy or it is something really obvious that I can't see because I'm tired.) Anyway, yesterday I read the 3rd(still don't have the 2nd) His Majesties Dragon book. They are not good literature but they are not poorly written and have a really nifty concept. After that I read Lolita in anticipation of my "Reading Lolita in Tehran arriving from Texas. I started(and finished this morning) "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" I'm not sure what I'll read next. Depends on whether I can get to a bookstore .

Lolita. I first thought that the main characters thoughts were to poetic and thought out to be the truth, that he was lying or that Nabakov was unrealistic. I got used to it fast enough and stopped noticing. I'm fairly certain either it was Nabakov or that my internal thoughts are just different than H.H. Ignoring that I think he did a great job showing the sink into insanity. A line that I cannot quote exactly has stuck in my mind. Irrelevant but just really pretty or nifty. I paraphrase: The Dandelions had changed from Suns to Moons. I'm pretty certain it was more beautiful and well written in the book itself. Humbert was not a good man. He was delusional, pathetic and monsterous. He starts off pathetic and I felt some sympathy for him. I wouldn't say he is evil though, just selfish and in denial of the negative effect he has on others + crazy. I may need to reread the ending, it was late at night and later pages seemed to point towards me misunderstanding previous ones. Either I'll go back, look up som cliffnotes online or hope Tehran will enlighten me.

Literature. "They" say I should have my own opinion but I'd rather form mine on agreeing or disagreeing with others rather than forming it in a void like a space-born crystal. I don't like how I feel knowing that no great themes leap out at me, that it is just a bunch of stuff that happens to the characters. If I knew what was important I could make an opinion on that. It just feels wrong that it all is a bunch of semi-entertaining stuff that happens. There has to be a deeper meaning, them & all that stuff they go on about in English class. With Dragons, Swords and Superheroes I don't feel uncouth for just having been entertained by the things that happen without any deeper thought.

I'm at home today. I have to be, Handymen are coming over to do things. One is right now putting in new lights in the bathroom, the other will fix the washing machine. I hope to shower and go get books today. The middle Dragon book and any other strangers in paradise.

I've been reading a lot lately. I've been saying I've been reading a lot too. Hmmm... about 1 1/2 a day maybe two. I could make a list were I to check.

I need to mail some things. I need to clean up my room.

The Wonderwoman of the Lake

Never a harsh or deceitful word,
Lion Bars bring easy smiles,
Opinions and authors traded,
The kitchen becomes magic,
Dirty dishes disappear
Sweet smelling rituals summon...
Cinnamon rolls!


01:54pm 01/08/2006
  I am at UIC. I'll need to change classes, but I was able to register.

Went to the Ren Faire. I had a good time, and learned some things, met some interesting people. Not enough time for a full update. I regret nothing.

Currently do not have internet, save at computers not mine.

Starting an new D&D game.

GTG yay! short short update.

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03:53pm 03/07/2006
  I have to pack and I have to finish the animations. I'm having a very hard time I'm flitting from distraction to distraction. Remaking my D&D character from memory, looking for feats online, calling to find out about working(I don't actually need to) and pacing around the house. It doesn't make sense. It's complicated. He'd tell me what he wanted done and I'd do it, but then he'd go back and have me change things and I don't remember the changes. Blah, I think sometimes I freak out or convince myself I'm freaking out as a n excuse to be lazy. Usually school projects I'm like this. Maybe I should get packing out of the way. Then this computer would be packed up and one less distraction. Gah!  


12:36am 03/07/2006
  My friends from the Feminist group threw me a 21st birthday party yesterday. It was fun but too much to write now.

Heh, Miyazaki is alive and well. Phil Foglio was wrong. To all those I scared(if anyone did read this preedit) I blame him.


04:58pm 01/07/2006
  We went to a Verizon Store. They looked over the phone, and figured out what was wrong. Somehow the battery got wet, or the batterywetness detector got tripped. Anyway a new Battery solved the whole thing. My phone works once more.  


02:23pm 01/07/2006
  Valerie called shortly after I finished updating my last entry. So I did go out. We just went over to John and Amanda's house. Firt time I had been there or socialized with Amanda. It was slow, we spent a lot of time designing this character for a videogame(some kids game where you draw things with a program and then play as them) Maybe it was too late, or maybe we weren't as welcome as Valerie said, I can't currently think of a way to describe it... like we weren't really invited. They had two cats Princess and Marzipan. Princess was very friendly but I think she might have ben in heat. I finally got my nametag from the library back. John had found it in a couch a while back, but I finally remembered to ask him for it. I'm not this clueless and weird I think that I might act more clueless than I am when I am partially clueless.

My Cell Phone is broken. Last night it almost ran out of charge so I shut it off. This morning I tried charging it. The "Charging On, Power Off" screen was fine but when I tried to turn it on the screen just went blank. Now it's completely dead. My only guess is that the Nametag's magnets destroyed part of the phone.


Me talking to myself   
11:03pm 30/06/2006
  Things left to do:

1.Birthday party

2.Last Feminist Meeting


4.Work 4rth of July

5.Get letter of recommendation

6.Get Fables back from Shawn.

7.Finish animations, and fill out orders

8.Go Ice Skating with Emily

9.Go out to clubs with Val

Hopefully all these things will be accomplished. I might not be able to do them all.

Hopeful schedule
July 1st: #1, #7, #3
July 2nd: #7, #3, #2
July 3rd: #8, #3, #7, #9
July 4rth: #4, #5, #6
July 5th: Fly away to the North

Today was slightly atypical. It was standard except instead of back/swimming we went to Dallas. I went to the 1/2 price books and got Godslayer, the 2nd of the non-kushiel Jacqueline Carey series.

There is an emotion which I can't describe, I think it is highly pleasureable but I am not quite certain. It is strong. I encounter it in books, and in imagination. I don't think that it can happen in real life, in real life it would be painful, but in books I am detatched enough to enjoy it. When someone powerful returning and finding that in their absence those they cared about were hurt or killed, and who then snaps and destroys the oppressors, or the oppresors and their families, or the whole race. The single word description I think is rightousness. It fels rightous, delicious. Maybe it's simple anger, or anger in the hands of those with great power. I'm not really sure if it is something I like or just something strong and compelling. It draws me in and makes me feel more than any other situation. But it never happens in real life... well it does but real life like that has a different feel, it's not the same.

There was a bit in the Lucifer Comic. Basically a young Centaur Sorceress had a dream where her worlds creater was in danger so she left to warn him, crossed into another dimension where time moved differently, left a message and came back to find 40 years had passed, her mother died 30 years ago, and with her mother(the only other Sorc) dead Humans conquered, enslaved or killed her village.

"I wasn't there.

I wasn't there so the world fell apart.

I walked among the two legs and their houses burned. Those who tried to run from me burned also. Those who stood and waited went like corn before a scythe, dead even as they fell."

There is just something strong, something of existingness, nessness or some other idea I can't put in words. Blah, anyway...

Godslayer and Banewreaker are chockful of this feeling. Maybe slightly different, but the same existingness.

The concpet of nessness makes sense to me but I can't articulate it.

Blah yeah. 1/2 price books and then this really beautiful restaurant run by Hare Krishnas. All vegetarian food and it was the most beautiful building I've been in, at least in a long time. There was a courtyard with an overhang over most of it, a fountain and a tree, but with regular indoor looking booths. There was stained glass and the staff all wore saris. I'm not doing it justice, it was beautiful. The food was good, not my favorite, it was more potato-indian than tomato-indian if that makes sense to anyone other than me. It was so beautiful.

Val promised to do Uno/hangout, but there was a change of plans... or maybe she'll still call. My dad wanted to see a movie or a play. I missed either Midsummer Nights Dream, a Movie or being at Cupp'a Joe for the last Jazz night I could attend. I'm not really angry, just feeling stupid. Should've asked to be dropped off at Jazz to wait, or I should have blown off Valerie.


7x3 are the years of me.   
09:57pm 29/06/2006
  I had a good day as far as days go. I have this idea in my head that birthdays are supposed to be on a higher plane of enjoyment than normal days, but they never are. As far as regular days go it was a good day.

Thrifting Explanation

I had been wanting to walk to the thrift stores for a while, but the schedule I am now a part of has sorta prevented that. Last night Phylis offered to drive me there and back in the morning if I woke up early enough.

Waking up Early

I've been getting to sleep(Stopping reading or online stuff and getting in bed/shutting off lights) around 3:00. I did the same last night. Without setting an alarm I woke up at 6:47. I suppose it is nice that I can wake up early just by intending to. Since early enough was 10:30(I'd been sleeping till 11 or 12) I had several hours to kill. I watched 2 Star Trek Episodes, reread some of my "Lucifer" comics. Ate breakfast and showered


I got 2 suit Jackets, a red one and a blue one. They are on the small size but the price was really right. I already have a blue one so I am thinking of experimenting with silver sharpie. I got 3 belts, only one of which could be regular wear. The other two look like they are meant for females. One is good Costume stuff, the other would work well with this Outlandish outfit I don't think I'll ever wear in public, but am assembling because I choose to. I bought 3 books: Secret Garden, Feminine Mystique and Dianetics. I bought the Clue DVD and a season of Buffy.

Calling people

I called Renny and Shira. I had rationalizations. For Renny I wanted to know if she would watch Buffy with me, because it is a guilty pleasure and I don't want to like it enough to watch it alone. I think I might but I'd put up road blocks in my way. I called Shira because I saw "Legend" for $2. We had watched it together and she had wanted to see it for years. I think I just wanted to make sure I talked to them on my birthday. Negating both the pleasure at having them call me and the overwhelming Emo-torture/self -pity of having them not call me. Or that is one theory.

Lone Star

Afterwards she dropped me off at Lone Star Comics. I read most of the eXiles collections they had. I meant to buy one, but I bought a different one by mistake. Oops. They're all pretty good in a stupid normal comic book way. Possibly the best normal style comic I've read, though I am attatched to Classic X-men, Symbiotes up to Maximum Carnage, and Alpha Flight. The one I wanted to get had a large section dealing with Sasquatch of Alpha Flight. Blah Nerd Nerd.

Coffee house Barrista, knew her from when I started going there. Always polite and nice, never became friends with her, but I recognize her easily. I forgot her name. I had to look at the schedule. I've known her for months. It frightens me a bit that I couldn't remember. I spent about 15 minutes trying to think of it. She is a person who I should remember her name. Blah. It disturbed me a bit. I've known her for months. There is no good reason why I should have not been able to remember her name. I'm not conveying this well enough.

Star Trek

Upon returning home I watched more star trek. I crashed during the 1st episode. Sleeplack, dehydration or sugar low... or a combination. I was woken up by a call from my brother. I had to rewatch the second half.

Out to Eat

After 2 episodes we went out to eat. This expensive place. I don't dislike it, I didn't ask to go there. I would have been happier at many other places. I didn't speak up then so it's pretty whiny complaining about it now. I guess they didn't want to do Indian or the Italian place I like so we went to this extremely fancy Italian place which is Okay. Blah it was steered this way gently and I didn't care enough to speak up. But I care enough to complain. Yay! Me two faced! : P No, it's that I didn't speak up so he assumes our taste is the same.

All good things

The day ended with me watching the last episode of Next Generation.


I am 21. Other than feeling I should move out and a bit like a failure I feel the same.

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03:42pm 28/06/2006
  I find it slightly amusing to think that I am updating so much because there is nothing to update about.

eXiles is good. There is a bit to much fanservice, it annoys me. The Idea behind the plot is good, and enables for interesting, nostalgic stories without causing inconsistancies. As I have said it is more like a comic book than the other comics I have read.

I've got songs in my head that are twisted, distorted versions of ones that I hear. Not in subject matter, not twisted like sick, but twisted in the sounds, or the lyrics. Generally they are nonsense lyrics or a phrase I heard elsewhere. I really want MP3s of these ones since they are more familiar than the real ones. I don't want it enough to talk about it. I want to have something to write enough to mention it.




11:18pm 27/06/2006
  I'm just looking over my old entries. The amounts of updates in a month come and go. It amuses me to look at them. I'll make a list and share with you.

Month Total Entries

January 13 *started on the last week of
February 93
March 103
April 78
May 38
June 25
July 35
August 34
September 36
October 25
November 28
December 30

January 32
February 14
March 10
April 1
May 2
June 3
July 6
August 3
September 14
October 15
November 16
December 15

January 26
February 18
March 5
April 7
May 4
June 18

I was heavily infatuated with LJ at the beginning. I seem to use LJ more during the school year. This is probably due to both easier access in the winter and more boredom(both weather preventing activities and hanging out at the university computer lab) and more activities in the summer. The numbers may be misleading since I make more than one entry on some days. A second column showing how many days that month have an entry(or how many dys don't) would show things more clearly perhaps. I am also interested in seeing these numbers from other people. Eh. It's late, maybe Girl Genius has updated. Ttyl.


10:04pm 27/06/2006
  I went to Ripley's Believe it or not/wax musuem. My dad wanted to go. It's not really my thing. I saw my first fiji mermaid. I read about them in the big book of freaks... I think... may have been the big book of hoaxes. Either way I gave the book away last summer due to a lack of interest. The wax museum was a little surreal in their choice of themes. There were famous actors, presidents, people who influenced the world greatly good and bad(hitler, Mother Teresa, Ghandi, nero, ect..) then a multi room story of Jesus, fairy tales(Oz included) and then "scary things(misc freaks, Aliens(of Alien the movie) Freddy Krueger, Frankenstein's Adam ect...) At the very end there was a woman holding a baby, I stared for a little bit she must have thought I was strange. I thought she was wax at first and was a little freaked out when she moved. From her point of view some young man stared at her with a perplexed look that after a few seconds turned into disgust/surprise.

I wondered what would happen if they all came to life. I think the Alien would kill everyone, unless the Predator got to his weapons fast enough or if the Star Trek crew had phasers. Just one alien not counting a few face huggers and eggs.

I bought a bunch more DVDs. I bought the 50th/wedding comic of Fables. I bought the first 2 volumes of eXiles. eXiles is a lot more like a comic book than any of the comics I've read in recent years but I like it. It's clever I think, they have no lose ends because except for the team everything else changes(they go to alternate universes) It also lets them explore older plotlines and the "What if Series" If I pursue it it will be expensive. There are 14 or so compilations out, each one 12$-15$.

I have no clue what so many people see in X: the last man. It is so terrible. I look the other way for my friends and I scorn the rest of those who like it.
I have an instinctive dislike for young pop cultureish actresses whose role in movies is primarily to be pretty. I can't describe it well but I know the type. Kristen Dunst has messed with my mind a bit. I disliked her and saw her as that but then I found out she was the little vampiress in "Interview with a Vampire" I liked her for that. I may have touched on this before. It comes to mind again because I just recently saw her on an episode of Next Generation. The role wasn't great but she was on Star Trek. I know my dislike is founded on an aversion to pop culture other things and that I really have no clue if Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan or any of the others are good people or not. Anyway I think it was Lindsey Lohan in "Prarie Home Companion." Dislike lessened for that. It's not personal it's a dislike of the image, though it all gets jumbled. I didn't really know of Angelin Jolie before Tomb Raider. All her chairity work has brought me around. There's a bunch more but I never bothered learning their names or telling them apart. Basically anyone youngish who either has a part that is sex appeal or who tries to sell music using it. I may be wrong about Lindsey Lohan she might not be part of the stereotype I dislike, I don't know enough about her. I don't know enough about all of them.

Either Fables 7 is released tomorrow or it has been delayed.

Been thinking of my character more. In my absence my character has leveled up. I think I figured out a feat to take when I get my next one. I am 10th level with 5 turnings as a 1st level cleric. I need a divine feat to use them since they are worthless against undead.

I've bought a lot of stuff this summer. I have easily 8x the CD's I had before, 4 new shelves of books(1 of them comic books expanding my collection about 4x) and I've tripled or quadrupled the number of Dvd's I own.

It is to late for things ordered online to arrive before I return north.


07:26pm 26/06/2006
  I think about why I do what I do and try to come up with reasons. They are more rationalizations than reasons and make me think I'm more complicated/messed up than I am. The reasons I come up with are probably not always the real reasons and then my belief that they are just make things even more messed up, so I need to stop trying to figure out why I do things.

It seems the rest of my days in Texas will be pretty much the same. I will work on maps, page through D&D books, watch Star Trek, go out for lunch with my dad, hang around the coffee shop about every other day 1-3, go swimming and surf the web.

9 days.

In this unfair world, with my unfair human mind it is impossible for me to feel towards and treat people the way they deserve. I am warmer to some people and colder to others because of my feelings rather than their attributes or actions. I believe that everyone is like this, but that doesn't make it just or right. The world is unfair all over but I dislike knowing that I'm part of it. To all of you who I have treated wrongly, I am sorry.

Night fell and the child wept. The tears glistened on the black curtain. She was alone by choice, she wanted to make it on her own. No one her age had ever done it alone before. She lifted the darkness covering her world. Her tears remained and were called stars. She then set about creating life.

I woke by the light of the sun. I had been asleep my whole life, a slave. My masters did not watch me close and I grew. I stole food meant for other slaves and I grew. I sent my children off to find new places and I grew. Melonoma they called me as the came at me with knives and poisons. They killed me because I did not accept my place in the order of things. My children will avenge me.

Ellaria, recalled. By these means I escape the mind I was born in and imprisoned in. Others can see me and pick me up. I shall spread into all minds and become greater than I was. I am more than a figure in white to be toyed with by a god who is just a boy. All of a sudden she was wearing a strange purple hat. "Very Funny" she said in a tone that implied otherwise. I thought you were giving me life again so that I could try to infest other minds, not to mess around. She then turned into a very irritated looking fluffy white bunny. Then the world turned upside down, she grew bat wings and a strong wind blew her away.


Athena's Breasts, Phoenix, emotional, Music, Random crappy stories   
07:42pm 22/06/2006
  This is horribly random and won't make sense. I think Athena must be getting Bustier. In my vague understanding of the magical world that I don't believe in relationships between names and objects have a much greater effect. Athena's Holy Animal was an owl. The "Hooters" restaurant chain. Based on my vague understanding of the magical world that I don't believe in, this must be having some sympathetic effect on the goddess herself. Does she notice? Does she care?

I'm not sure how I came to this train of thought, but Phoenix and Dark Phoenix were the only super heroines/super heroine costumes that looked attractive to me. Not any of the other Jean Grey incarnations, just the Phoenix. It's either a combination of the sleeves, boots and sash or the infinite god-like power.

I've been getting depressed really easily but then it doesn't last long, but it always comes back. I feel more emotional, good and bad, than I have in a while. Lots of Future/Hypothetical conversations with people in my head.

I've been looking/finding lots of music online. I got the Menchi song. I still need that rare Key Metal Idol song that convinced me to buy the series. I need Gordon Lightfoot but I think my dad has some. Renny has the rest, if I am patient I can probably get it from her.

Slimry was a pleasant sort. He told funny stories to those who would listen. Few did. There was one little girl who always listened. She fell down in the middle of the road one day. Slimry saved her, but was hit himself. She remembered him for the rest of her life, gradually warping an idiot who could only hold the attention of small children into some sort of a great hero. One day when she was all grown up a wonderful young man asked her out. She refused because she loved her false slimry more.

Would you give money to a crazy man? Little Sarah Parker did. He thanked her, followed her home and over the next week left candy where she would find it. He used the rest of the money to buy cheese, which her used as a hat. A pack of wild dogs smelled his hat-cheese and ate him. Sarah was sad that no one left her candy anymore.

Gorgeleth Condensed from random elements. She thought "I live!" then a small wind blew the random elements apart.

He heard her but he didn't make sense out of the noise. He imagined what he wanted to hear. She kept making the noises and he kept pretending. It was very good for a long time, not perfect bet very good. She tugged at him, he tried to pull her close. She squirmed away and made more noises. He was hit by a car.

She thought "All these stories have male main characters except for Gorgeleth, who really isn't human. Are these stories windows into my creater-gods subconscious? Am I only here because he has become a bit more self aware? She then went on to do a combination of feminine and masculine things, like a normal human.

Eldwin was the youngest son of seven. Left home to find the magic spool. The Magic spool was said have infinite cotton candy wound about it, his family was starving; cotton candy, while not nutritious, would help somewhat. He met an old woman along the road. She said "always wear a hat" He said "I shall" He did not wear a hat, he thought "crazy woman, telling other people what to do" and he continued to the magic forest shack that sold magic spools. A giant came by, grabbed his hair and threw him all the way back home. Eldwin set off again to find the magic spool. He met the old lady a second time. She said "always wear a hat" He said "I shall" He did not wear a hat, he thought "what are the odds of me meeting the same giant" and he continued to the magic forest shack that sold magic spools. A different giant came by, grabbed his hair and threw him all the way back home. Eldwin set off the third time. He met the old woman a third time. She said "always wear a hat" He said "I shall" He grabbed her hat and ran off. He thought "This is getting weird" and he continued to the magic forest shack that sold magic spools. A giant came by, grabbed at his hair, grabbed his hat instead and then threw the hat all the way back to his house. Eldwin found the shack, killed the owner and returned to his starving family with the magic spool. They lived happily ever after.

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Stupid happy post   
11:02pm 21/06/2006
  I was looking for songs online and found a few I had been looking for for a while. Stupid things that I loved for some reason. The He-Man themesong and others from the early childhood I barely remember, Rainbow Road, Record of the Lodoss War. Still no Excell Saga Menchi song. I want that so badly. Anyway I listened to "legend of Mana" a japanese song and it was so beautiful. I mean it wasn't really but it sounded so perfect and beautiful. It's stupid, there are infinite beautiful things in life and I never notice them. I have to make light of it. I'm not conveying it right but it was just beautiful, it made me unreasonably happy to hear it. I know that in real reality it's nothing special but it had such a huge emotional effect I can't describe it.

The Legend of Mana Ending Theme

Also came across the opening video for a show called David the Gnome. I need to show it to my friend David.


10:28pm 20/06/2006
  Time passes strange these past few days. It drags on but is over quickly.

I've been stopping by the coffee house more. It looks like I will have Fable back. Good for me.

I've been thinking about friendship and bonds between people. I have this attatchment to people from my Highschool. Maybe it's all in my head and really not true. It just feels that the people I know from ETHS are really real and everyone else is some character from the crowd that I grabbed and forced the DM to make stats for on the spot. That doesn't quite articulate it. Maybe it's because I've know the highschool people for so long. It's just like thay have this extra undefinable thing that everyone else lacks.

I've been learning Adobe after effects to work on my Dads animations.

I've been feeling bad lately. An annoyed, slow, sad feeling, prone to thinking up great melodramatic entries and rightous conversations that never happened. Just when I'm alone. I'm really fine.

I like texas well enough and have met some cool people who I'll be sad to leave behind, but the end to the trip looms and I find myself thinking of Evanston and the people I love most who just happen to live there.

Nothing really bad is going on, no real cause for concern. I just feel whiny I guess.

If someone really loved me I'd probably find fault in them, I wouldn't love them back fully most likely, I'd act like I love them and feel guilty that I don't. Having someone love me won't make me happy unless they happen to be perfect.

Whine Whine. Bleak prediction. Self-pity stew. Whine Whine. Bleak prediction. Tada Yada Yada.


11:50pm 19/06/2006
  Last week I didn't get put to work, but this week I am/will be. I'm learning adobe aftereffects to add/zoom in on parts of my fathers animations. I stopped by the coffee shop. I finally cashed my paychecks after a month. I found out that if the Tarrasque had one less point of intelligence a ranger could use animal empathy on it. I regretted some of my latest entries and wondered about deleting them. I thought I had more to say than this.  


10:14pm 18/06/2006
  I guess I already made an entry for today. I must be getting back into the habit of LJ. A medium to whine, say things you want to say but couldn't, and post random thoughts as though someone cared.

I've been thinking about fairies a lot lately. Just random stuff. I suppose it's not to weird for me. Just mentioning goblins a lot and thinking of some way to make a witty comment about fairy food(trapped in the hill and all that).

I am too quiet. Worst case scenario I think I'd rather be seen as creepy(quiet) than stupid(talkitive about nothing) but I'd rather be neither, I'd rather to actually have something to say.

People are nice.

I think I've been having conversations in my head too much recently. What if situations that deteriorate into strong emotions, except the situation never takes place except in my mind.

I misspelled Renaissance in my last entry. I realized it at the time but decided to use spell check to catch it rather than to think/remember how. I forgot. Shameful. Haven't decided whether to go back and correct it yet.

I try to be nice, I think I am nice on the surface but the deeper it gets or the more I am asked the less nice I become. I don't think I become mean, just callous. It just seems there are very few people who I could be nice to all the way to my core. That deep I suppose it is called love. I suppose it is normal that I don't love everyone. Despite what some people say I don't think it is possible to love everyone, at least from the definition that I have in my mind.

We talked about Men's issues today at the feminist group. I tried to think of some but they were more my issues, or issues of people like me. I am pretty far from the quintessential man, or at least I feel that way. I didn't actually say much.